It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
FUCK WHALES
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
