Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
