Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
