And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
