Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
