If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
