ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
