dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
