so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
