Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She told me I should be a condom model.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
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