i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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