What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
