the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
