pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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