Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
