i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
