you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
