i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
