Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
COCAINE IS GR8
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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