Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
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