Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
