i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
