My Higher Power is John Stamos
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
