He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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