Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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