just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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