The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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