Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
