Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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