I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
