i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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