Tell her she can't have a vagina
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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