we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
