the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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