porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
