I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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