i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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