Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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