Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think weed is turning my hair brown
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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