If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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