but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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