Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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