What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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