I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
