when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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