you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
