apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
