I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
