did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
