I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize