We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
