Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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