dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
