When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
