we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
