Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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