she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
