Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
