you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
