Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
