he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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