Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
