I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
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