Me. At least after what I've been through.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
