How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
